How to defeat the “Bully Brain”
It’s time to stop blaming yourself…everything will be fine
With this month’s issue focusing on all things health, I wanted to share a bit about how your own brain can be your biggest bully and how you can tell it who’s boss.
Many of us live in a constant state of submergence, don’t we? You know what I’m talking about. You are falling behind on your bills and a new job would help you progress financially. You are carrying extra weight and are out of breath going up and down stairs and have thought about taking an exercise class. The house has become cluttered and as you look around you see all those unfinished projects that have been shelved. Sigh.
When you are in this dark place, you have two choices: let it consume you or attack you.
What I’m about to tell you may sound oversimplified, but it may be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done and if you can learn to master it, it will be life changing and you can use it again and again. still the rest of your life and share it with others.
Tell that brain that lives only inside your brain to take a hike!
I told you it looked easy to do.
Let me break it down.
Your “bully brain” is the reason you doubt yourself. It’s what tells you that you can’t fill the void (get the job, lose weight, find a romantic partner, finish those house projects).
He criticizes you. “Who do you think you are? You won’t be able to go back to school that many years after high school. Be realistic.”
“You can’t learn how to install a ceiling fan.”
Bully Brain keeps us in our comfort zones so we don’t try anything new or take risks.
“If you go line dancing, people will watch you.”
“If you sign up for online dating, you’ll probably be hooked up with a serial killer.”
“You better not dye your hair pink. People won’t take you seriously.
I know the latter a little.
How many times has your brain stopped you from doing something that could have turned out to be amazing and exciting? We’ll never know because it’s been going on since you were a kid. I bet if you made a list of all the things your brain has told you not to do, you’d be shocked.
Personally, I wouldn’t have started a coaching business, taken a solo vacation, installed vinyl plank floors, colored my hair pink, or gone back to the gym after gaining weight after the hysterectomy if I let my brain win. Take that, bad brain.
Luckily for me, many years ago I heard of “Bully Brain”. I’m here to tell you how satisfying it is to realize that what my bully brain is telling me – and what your bully brain is telling you – isn’t true. Your “Bully Brain” is lying!
Not everything is bad. You see, your brain is trying to protect you from vulnerability. When we are vulnerable, we can be hurt. We put ourselves forward whether we’re going for a promotion, going on a date, changing our hairstyle or joining a fitness club. Every time we try something new that can just make life better, the brain says to itself, “Are you sure? There are no guarantees. The protective side of our brain kicks in and sometimes it gets a little carried away.
And of course there are no guarantees that you will find the perfect match, lose weight or get promoted, but there are no guarantees in life except birth, death and taxes. . Am I right?
You’ve heard that personal growth only comes from stepping out of your comfort zone. Trust me. I’m the queen of personal growth, so I suggest you spread your wings and fly, baby. Here’s how:
When you feel anxious about making a decision that could change your life for the better, considering trying something new just for the fun of it, or questioning your own genius and abilities, ask- you: “Is my brain trying to protect me? To make me live in a controlled way? To keep me from looking like a fool? The answer will likely be a resounding “Oh yes!
Remember that this “Bully Brain” is a big liar. You are super capable and deserve everything you desire. Don’t let that “stinky thought” get in the way. To apply. Join the fitness club. Watch how-to videos.
To go. Do. The. Things.
It may or may not work. It may or may not be what you expected. The important thing is that you took a chance and didn’t let limiting beliefs stop you from trying. It’s normal to be scared, but do it anyway! The more you practice, the easier it will become. Guaranteed.
When you do the thing, you are telling the universe and the people in your life that you believe in yourself. You basically say, “Hey! I want _____. I am qualified/deserving/ready. Why shouldn’t I? I’m going for it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll be fine.
But if it works… oh my… couldn’t that be amazing?